Skip the Drama, Stay with Momma

"But I shall show you a still more excellent way" 1Cor12

Baby, You Were Born This Way.

I want to write about something that may be obviously apparent to parents of multiple children.
But to the parents with only one child, they might not yet have fully grasped it. For I only began to REALLY notice it after our second child was born.

Especially to the individuals who’ve never had children before, though, is who I write for: DOUBLY especially, to the pro-choice, pro-contracepting individuals who’ve never had children, is who I write this for; for perhaps they’ve never thought about this to quite the extent they should.

I’m sure there’s much more intellectually stimulating writings than mine out there. In fact, I’m absolutely aware of the world of scientific research to support what I’m sharing.

The average, curious Joe may do a tiny lifting of his finger to find this information. I’ve done it and so can you. I’ve generally found that whether or not I litter my blog with links and endless amounts of scientific research backing up what I have to say, whomever reads my blog ultimately rejects what they’re reading on an obstinately angry prejudice or is open to finding out more and does the research him/herself. So there you go, do what you will.
Moving on!

I believe that babies are born, with their personality, their disposition already intact.
I believe that babies are given their personality from the earliest moments of conception.

Because otherwise, when is a human being given his/her personality, his/her predisposition to the way s/he handles emotion, the way s/he communicates, his/her temperament?

At 6 months in utero? 9 months? AFTER birth, a random string of personality traits, plucked from the combined genetics of the mother and father, just spontaneously erupts within his/her brain?

Or perhaps the baby is born with absolutely no personality whatsoever and it’s only developed after coming into the world and being influenced by the environment and people in the human being’s life?

I believe that common intelligence will tell us that the latter must be mostly false.

Common intelligence, from a parent of more than one child, will observe that at the first moments after birth, if the parent is a perceptive one (trust me, not all are) each child is very different than his/her older sibling.

The cry not only sounds different, but a parent can perceive the urgency, the demanding or un-demanding of the cry. Parents more closely observe, over the next few days after arriving home from the hospital, how their baby handles the daily routine of the family: the changing of the diapers, baths, feedings, naps, “tummy time” …etc. All of these mundane events sound like pathetic material to have for observations and conclusions, but if one can consider the newness of life, how drastically different these events must be for the newly born human life, can one not wonder how that baby might handle the situation, depending on his/her disposition?

The differences are sometimes subtle, but if you’ve had more than one child, you can attest to the observation that the baby isn’t JUST yet another baby, like any other baby. Each new baby speaks his/her own personality differently.

My first son- beginning with his kicks within the womb! -was much more vocal about his presence. He was wound tight: vocal from the very beginning. If a diaper was too tight, or a bottle not warmed enough (I only breastfed him for the first three months: he went on a screaming nursing strike after I felt pushed into introducing the bottle to him very early on.) he let me know, loudly. He was up at all hours of the night. He was walking at 7 months and literally running at 8. He was talking before he was one year old and then varying his octaves and tones of voice before he was a year and a half. (I could ask him to say “momma” in a very high-pitched tone or a very low-pitched tone, and he would do it and then replicate the tones with other words.)

My son, now almost 3 years old, is a running, jumping, rollicking, screaming, yelling, non-stop talking wild child in a blaze of endless energy. I truly believe that he has only now begun to reach a satisfactory communication level (according to him) equalling the personality he has been given.

I believe that as a parent, after giving birth to our children, it’s not a matter of “training my baby” to do this or that, or follow a certain schedule that I desire. I believe that instead, my job is to get to KNOW my child. My already uniquely made child. (hence, my Attachment Parenting style of parenting… check out Ask Dr. Sears and this: )

A baby is a human being before s/he is born. This human being is born with limited abilities to communicate his/her personality until s/he reaches the earliest age possible to fully communicate his/her needs. Until then, a parent needs to be perceptive enough to read and understand the newborn human being’s personality.

My second boy barely cried after birth. He slept through the night from the get-go. He only cried (if I could even call it that) when he was hungry. He grunted instead of bellowing or screaming. He is now 1.5 years old and still has yet to purposely say “mom” or “dad”. He started walking at 10 months. He still only becomes whiny when he’s hungry, if I haven’t already fed him. Normally, he’ll just walk up to me and arch his head backwards and look at me with huge, chocolate brown eyes, raising his arms for me to hold him, and I know it’s the “feed me something, Momma,” look.

One might say that the differences in my son’s personalities lie in how I ate while I was pregnant or whether or not I had medication during birth.

First, being medicated isn’t going to be the source of development for my child’s personality. I was given an epidural for my first, wild boy. For our second, laid-back boy, the epidural was placed too high, never reaching lower than my belly button, and was ceased to be administered 2 hours before I began to push. We know that, instead, medications during labor may affect the health of the baby (i.e. drowsiness, unresponsiveness, lack of interest in nursing right away… etc.).

Secondly, I barely consumed any caffeine at all with my first crazy boy. I drank coffee (nearly daily) and Coke a Cola with our second, very calm boy. This third time around, I have had coffee daily.

I understand that environmental influences DO affect the health of the new human life. I do understand and acknowledge that if I were a smoker or consumed alcohol abusively or ate obese levels of sugar while pregnant, I would definitely be putting the physical health of my child in danger. But I cannot agree that I would be putting his/her personality in danger of alteration. This is a difference that many people misconstrue: especially the pro-choice, pro-contraceptive lot.

These people do not understand, or refuse to acknowledge that at the very moment of conception, parents have created, in union with the Ultimate Creator Himself, a very literal separate and unique human being. Like a snowflake, non-replicable. A snowflake the size of a zygote.

To the people who do not or will not understand this, they view having a child as either a commodity, or as an inconvenience. They may contracept, willfully, yet ignorantly flushing down the toilet all other human life that was “accidentally” conceived while on the Pill or IUD or Patch or shot.

We know this happens for a fact. We know that women get pregnant while contracepting. Google “pregnancy rates among contraceptive users” and you’ll find that even Guttmacher Institute (Planned Parenthood’s research arm) gives statistical evidence of failure among chemical contraceptive use. Yep, there’s failure for all types of birth control, natural and chemical. Honestly, the percentage rate does not matter… 0.1% or 10%, the failure rate is absolutely present, and who am I or you to put full faith into a failing chemical that will harm the newly created life, just banking on the assumption that “certainly I’m not likely to be that 1-10%”?

ESPECIALLY when the percentage of failure weighs upon the death of a human life.

But the even more questionable concern rises when we understand that when pregnant, a woman must not continue using her contraceptive because the chemicals will kill or greatly harm the already conceived life.

THEREFORE, how can we pretend to be blind to the “unsuccessful zygotes” that are the result of the effectiveness of the chemical abortions that take place without the knowledge of the poor mother and father who do not view each human life as sacred and unique (even though they think they do)?

We know that within hours of conception, the brand new human being’s DNA is fully formed (check my link below); DNA unique to the mother, unique to the father, unique to any other human being in the world. Hence, my snowflake allusion.

From what minimal biological knowledge I acquired from my college education, in combination with the light scientific research I have found through general internet searches, I am aware that fundamental personality cells are stored within the human DNA.

I have read that complex personality development is later developed and influenced by environmental forces; Yet we are born, already having been given our base personality. At the moment we are given our DNA. at conception.

Yikes. The people who think that contraceptives are OK and that abortion is OK have some answering to do.

What I have written is in the most elementary, rudimentary basics of human development. Pathetic, to some it may be, I really think that one doesn’t need to be a scientist to fully acknowledge these truths. One only needs to have a willful stubbornness to adhering to his/her personal convenience, though, to reject them. And sadly, so, so many people do.

Mathematical Proof the Birth Control FAILS. →


har har.  Just wanted to quickly share this smarty-pants blog.  It’s funny, quick-witted, and easy for even a mathematically-handicapped individual such as myself to understand.

It suggests that yet again, increased use of BC leads to increased Abortion.  Thus, feeding back into the abortion BUSINESS. Our president has vested interests in keeping that business BOOMING.

"Thus, birth control over time normalizes abortion.

We knew that, but this calculation proves it using their own reported estimates. Of course the other alternative is to be “fixed” like an irrational animal with implants, injections or surgery, something Catholics also oppose because we are taught that to be fully human we must use our intellect and will to strive to be virtuous. Animals, as you know, can’t do math either. “

BEWARE: Even Doctors Are Bigots.

Begin conversation I had with a doctor this week:

Dr: Is this your first child?
Me: No, he’s my second.
Dr: Wow, you look like you’ve barely broken 20 years old, good for you momma.  So you’re a very young momma then?!
Me: *laughs* I’m 27 and we have a third one on the way!
Dr: Oh wow! How many do you plan on having, momma?
Me: All of them
Dr: *starts and double-takes, laughs* Ahh, funny.  Really though, how many…? 
Me: All of them.
Dr: *chuckles again, shakes head* I mean, do you have a goal?
Me: Every child that we are given, I will have.
Dr: OH.  So…10, 15, even 20 kids… you’ll have them?

Me: Well, doctor, I’m 27 years old, do the math.  Even if I have one baby at every possible fertile moment until menopause, it’s hardly biologically, physically possible for me to have even 12 kids… unless I have multiple, multiples.
Dr: How do you figure that? 
Me: Well, I can’t get pregnant for 10 months while I’m already pregnant… I also breastfeed, so that adds at least another year of infertility…

Dr: Oh, WOW!  So you’ve thought this out very carefully!  Okay let’s see… so if you had a kid every 15 months… *he does the math, incorrectly, and telling me that I’m 26, even though I’d already told him twice that I am 27* … well it’s possible that you might have 12 kids, at least.

Me: Yes, it IS possible. And if I have 12 kids, I have 12 kids.
Dr: Oh… so you’re very religious then…?
Me: It’s not so much religion. It’s more from a scientific, metaphysical perspective that I cannot, as a woman, agree that chemical contraceptives are in any way healthy for me or any human life that may be formed in my uterus. 

Dr: Oh… So you’re an earthy child then!
Me: …Earthy child?
Dr: Did you go to college?
Me: yes.
Dr: What did you study?
Me: French language and culture, and fine arts.
Dr: Ah ha! Yes, you’re an earthy child indeed. What does your husband do?
Me: He’s an executive logistics coordinator at […] 
Dr: So there’s you’re counterpart- you’re perfect for each other!

*end inappropriately motivated conversation*

And that is how, within minutes, this doctor was able to presume his prejudices about me, a “young”, white, “momma” (as he continually called me).  

Never mind the fact that I was not there for MYSELF.  I was at the Ear Nose and Throat Specialist for my youngest boy’s recent ear infection.  

So this ENT had the audacity to ask me questions that did not pertain in any way whatsoever to the well-being of my little boy, and to draw assumptions on my views about health based off of what I looked like, what my religion is, and whether or not I had an education.

At any moment, if I had said to the doctor, “Oh… so you like to go to clubs and enthusiastically dance on any women standing alone?”  He might’ve been offended.  

And then, if I had justified my question in the way he did, I would have said, “oh, well you are wearing a dark purple and black striped, open neck, shirt with your chest hair hanging out and a shiny flat gold chain… I mean your hair is greased back too.”

I also could have pointed out his ethnicity and made assumptions based on that as well.

But I didn’t.  Those thoughts didn’t even cross my mind until I left the medical center and realized I had just been subjected to prejudice and quite possibly blatant bigotry by a doctor. 

Why did this doctor, who had no business asking me about my family planning methods, feel like he was entitled to do just that?  Was it because he owns the title “DOCTOR” that makes him some all-knowing, all powerful force of the high inquisitor?

What was the point of him even asking how many children I plan on having? Mere conversation? I doubt that. I don’t off-handedly ask my acquaintances how many children they plan to have.  It’s a very personal matter that is decided between a married couple and hopefully, God.

And then to jump to the conclusion that I MUST only be religious in order to believe that I would actually elect to have “ALL the children given to me” Is flat-out absurd and bigoted.  
And because I didn’t give him an absolute answer on my religious beliefs, he calls me earthy, and asks about my education credentials.  Hmm.  

If he REALLY wanted to know the motive behind why I believe the way I do, why didn’t this doctor ask me to explain why I think contraceptives are unhealthy for women?
 He skirted right over that topic and tried to scare me into thinking I shall be subject to the “pains” of carrying 20 pregnancies.
 You don’t agree that he tried to scare me?  
If he was any sort of thinking, logical individual, he couldn’t have used that tactic because he would have known for a likely fact that it couldn’t be true.  I had told him my age, twice.

 But no, this DOCTOR had clearly never thought about it.  Apparently, scaring women in this way works.  And sadly, many women don’t know how to answer it, or else, that kind of question wouldn’t have been brought up to me.

So, Mr. DOCTOR, again, did not ask me what my reasons were for not taking contraceptives.  After he tried to scare me and I debunked his attempt, he was not given a satisfying answer that I must be a religious, ignorant zealot who only does what THE POPE says because “that’s just what the Church’s stance is”.  He then proceeded to wonder if I was educated.  

We already know, based off of this conversation, that education and credentials bear no significant weight if you’re already a bigot; that education, science and logic can be thrown aside if you’re a prejudiced chauvinist.  And when Mr. Doctor was not satisfied in knowing that I was uneducated, he affirmed that I must be an “Earthy child”.  

Earthy?  Meaning: au naturel?  Like I’m a flower child? A hippie?  Is that how he was able to discredit me in his mind?
Isn’t that kind of a dated thought?  We now know more and more that natural medicines, organic, unprocessed foods and homeopathic remedies are better for us than many of the marketed chemicals today which are associated with cancer. So I am failing to see how being an “earthy child” might’ve satisfied him, but apparently it did because he asked me no further questions on the subject.

What is disturbing is that clearly, this doctor looks at children as objects to acquire: he looks at life as a dispensable, un-valuable commodity to have or dispose of at convenience.  
Which only means, that if I want to have my child seen by someone who will take all means necessary to cure and heal him, because he believes that each and every human life on this earth is deserving of dignity and equal value, I DO NOT want to continue seeing this doctor.

Parents and prospective “mommas”, it is important that you ask your doctors what the value of a human life is to them.  The answer should be a simple one: All life is infinitely valuable.
If the doctor can’t answer you directly, or has to give long drawn out explanations, I’d seek another doctor because you can probably safely assume that the doctor won’t fight for your life, or that of anyone you love.

A doctor is supposed to value human life.  A doctor is supposed to want to save human life, preserve human life, and encourage a human’s well-being.  A doctor is supposed to be able to put prejudice aside -if he/she has any- in order to focus on the care for the patient.  But apparently, not all of them do.  Beware, do your research, and most importantly, ASK QUESTIONS. 

I’ll end asking the prayerful to pray for all doctors (because I MUST be very religious) and for their increased awareness of the intrinsic value of all human life.

The MORAL Basis for Defending All Human Life. →

Again, from Live Action, but man, they just keep having really good stuff!

What is a human life worth to you? And if you have to explain with various scenarios and lengthy extremes, the answer is clear: not enough.

If a human life is only worth to you what you deem is his/her value, then, have you ever perhaps thought what your value is to anyone else who measures worth in physical evidence?  Perhaps you’re as dispensable as the fetus you believe isn’t worth equal protection to live, according to someone who doesn’t believe that all human beings are equal in their inherent dignity. 

How can we trust a leader of a nation to protect his citizens if he doesn’t see the worth in each and every human life, but only some of us? How can we actually believe that this type of leader would bring about true equality to our great nation? 

The Argument Against Abortion from Metaphysics →


This link describes what I think is -or should be- common sense.  I really want to know how pro-aborts disagree, or how they could agree yet still ignore the logic and carry on, calling it “women’s health” or “my BODY”.

 The more and more one looks at the logical, scientific and spiritual defense for the right to Life in comparison to the elementary, unscientific and faulty views in defense of abortion, the more and more I come to believe that there is something inherently wrong, deeply engrained, in the logic of the individuals who believe that abortion is a good, healthy right for women.  Prayer is needed for these individuals who believe that by ending someone else’s life, their own problems can be solved.

The Scientific Basis for defending ALL human life. →

Oh, Science.  I love how “opinions” about when life begins cannot hold a candle to you.

How this is relevant to birth control:  It flushes your body of the newly created human life, when after trying to implant, the tiny, unique human life cannot attach and is thus aborted into the toilet while the mother experiences bleeding and what she imagines to just be her period. I’ve given citations for this before. But since we live in a world that, without the answer given immediately, with no effort on behalf of the reader, they’ll dismiss it to mere “opinion”, here you go:

from The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.  Note they use the scientifically incorrect term “fertilized egg”.